This is all I know about Friday night!

 

Saturday:

7.00AM - tried to peel my eyes open and failed.

7.15AM - rolled myself onto my bedroom floor in an attempt to wake myself up.

8.00AM - Picked up Magic Jean and Chickenlegs and commenced driving to Santa Pod.

Magic Jean, Dancing machine

10.00AM - Arrived at Bug Jam, acquired guest passes (Thankyou to Mr Dylan Beaver) and tracked down the crew - a kind of Sidcup Massive/Downlow hybrid.

Downlow Crew in effect Boyeeeeee!

10.30AM - After hearing their most amusing tales from the day/night before, we ventured off into Beetle territory.

The Daddies

The Tandem (a Sheep creation)

11.00AM - Puchased a large array of woolly hats. G went for a fetching reindeer pattern, I chose Polar Bears, Naylor chose something special that made him look like Ming the Merciless.

G SPORTING HIS NEW HAT AND MAD BLING

2.00PM - After seeing the Jet Car (pretty amazing), having a go on some of the Downlow bikes and posting up some Sidcup stickers we returned to base camp for a siesta.

Hello, I am Bob the Plumber aka Fat Hippy

 

5.00PM - Surface from back of van, get going on the Whiskey, smoke a lot, ridicule The Plumber, smash up a computer for no apparent reason. Downlow Matt dresses up as Muska for the evening.

The Victim!

ANGER MANAGEMENT

 

8.00PM - Everyone pretty merry/irie, head into 'town' for the evenings entertainment complete with loud hailer to announce our presence for example "Stand clear, make way, Sidcup Massive and Downlow Crew coming through"

8.30PM - Watch some fat blokes fighting with pugel sticks and their trousers down. The winner procceeds to flash his maggot at us and is verbally abused with shouts of "Put it away acorn boy" etc etc. Also much to our amusement G got a whooping of some proper geezer.

9.00PM - Buy Hannibal Lecter mask.

9.30PM - Dance at Hip Hop stage before deciding it's shit and heading into the rave tent (which was also shit by the way). I spend the next few hours dancing in a puddle and escorting Magic Jean and Chicken Legs to the toilets (at least 5 times). The highlight of the evening was when they both fell into a ditch/stream and had to be pulled out by me and G or possibly when Jean fell and rolled down a hill directly into the spot where Chicken legs had just pissed. All in all their antics were pretty amusing, but I was exhausted from keep standing them up!

12.00AM - Music stops, what kind of shit has the music stop at midnight? We stand around laughing at/filming various drug casualties and odd hawks. There is also a few verses of "Barry wants it, Barry gets it"

THE HAWK (drug casualty no.1)

 

 

12.30AM - Matt and G venture onto some big wheel thing which causes Matt to turn green and later puke quite violently. Luckily someone took some pics of this. Next we all went on the dodgems which was funny as f**k. For some reason I took to stealing everyones hats off their heads during the ride.

"ROLL UP, ROLL UP, EAT YOUR OWN WEIGHT IN COAL"

THE DOWNLOW DODGEM WAS DOPE AS F**K

PRAWNY AND ZOE (SEE SHOT BELOW TAKEN 5 MINUTES LATER)

THIS IS THE BEST PHOTO ON THE SITE

CLICK HERE TO SEE IT IN ALL ITS GLORY!

 

1.00AM - Arrive back at base camp, smoke, drink, talk bollocks. G annoys all our neighbours with the loud hailer for a good few hours and sets fire to the computer remains.

2.30AM - Collapse in the comfort of the van.

This has been my home for a lot of the summer!

 

Sunday

Prawny - Gay Icon

Wake up late, feel ill, have a look around, buy more hat's, watch the jet car twice more, watch a bit of "Miss Bug Jam" (which was won by a man in drag), buy old school vans, check out some VW's (I thought I should make a token effort!), eat crap overpriced food, sleep, pack up, say good-byes, drive home.

 

Someone told me this car was even faster than a done up XR2,

but I don't believe them, surely nothing could be that fast.

 

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