Chesson had been invited to the Projects Christmas do, and seeing as I've never got anything constructive to do and I've got no friends I went too. We drove to Bristol direct from the Clothes Show (which didn't take as long as expected) and passed the time by getting stoned and discussing amusing alternatives to the tramline "Listen To Black Sabbath" or "Listen To Bob Marley" t-shirt trend, our favourites were:-

Listen to S Club 7

Listen to Lionel Richie

Listen to Rick Astley

Listen to Phil Collins

Listen to Shawaddywaddy ( I don't know how to spell that)

Listen to Abba

Listen to Bon Jovi

Listen to Vanilla Ice

(these will be available for sale on this site soon!)

We got to the new Projects HQ at about 7, all the team were presented with their present ( a full on dope ghetto bag complete with amp and speakers! RRP £180!). We sunk a few brews and headed off to the restaurant. It was a very civilised affair, bearing in mind how many skateboarders were present. Dan Joyce managed to keep his clothes on through the whole thing, which is an accomplishment for him. Danny Wainwright payed a guy called Will to eat about 10 mean chillis. He did it quite easily, but really started to suffer after about 5 minutes. He went very quiet and was soon having a lot of trouble breathing, not surprisingly he was one of the first to go home. Next we hit the pub, where whiskey was £1 per shot, until closing time when we were evicted into the rain. And so began the slow moving meandering procession around the city trying to find a club stupid enough to let us in.

After an hour of this, the group was culled down to a hardcore group of losers lead by Matt Law, who was slowly losing his rag as his suede loafers were getting wet. After queuing for ages to get into a club only to find that it was NUS cards only morale was low. Matt made some phone calls and pulled out the trump card and before you could say "Which one of you bitches wants a fisting" we were gaining free entry to a club. The club was half empty and was staffed entirely by the Cosby family. I hit up the bar for a Whiskey hit and procceeded to talk bullshit to anyone and everyone. Things go a bit misty here, but I was definitely very sick, I also told a lot of people that my name was Juan and that I was a Blacksmith (don't ask me why I don't know where it comes from). Some girl started talking to Chesson but I soon got rid of her by asking her if her hair was real. I wasted no time in inviting loads of people back to Chessons hotel (where I was planning to sleep on the floor). I managed to get a small crew together, but Chesson wasn't keen!. I f**ked off to the hotel without him, but with my new friends. I banged on the room door where I knew Stu Graham was asleep, but he wasnt opening the door. That was it I was officially homeless for the night, until my new friends suggested we get a cab and I could stay at their house.

On waking in the morning I realised that I was in the middle of f**king nowhere. I got a lift back into Bristol (about half an hour drive) to find that the others had checked out of the hotel, I couldn't phone Chesson because my mobile was locked in the Projects office. I had to phone his mum and explain that I'd lost him and needed his mobile number. I eventually met up with him at Skate and Ride where we ate a mean breakfast and tried to reconstruct the nights activities.

We drove home in near silence as we were both to hung over and tired to hold a conversation for more that 1 minute. Another great weekend!

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